Come Home
by AndromedaMarine
Summary: She pulled a hand from his and in a risky move, brought it up to his cheek. “You know you can always turn to me, Mac. Always.” Set in seasons 1 and 5
1. Someone to Hold

**Come Home by AndromedaMarine**

_Someone to Hold_

Stella saw Mac deprive himself every day. He worked until sleep hunted him out, became too emotionally attached to victims that – and she realized...victims that resembled Claire. Stella retreated to the locker room, needing the same space Mac craved.

Perhaps she'd expected Mac to be in his office working on the cold case files. Or maybe in the lab – just not where she was headed. He was in the corner, resting his head against the cool cement of the wall. It took her a moment to realize he was there.

He shifted slightly, just enough for Stella to see he had his eyes closed. He must not have heard her enter – it was a rare occasion when she was quiet as she moved. Years of paying attention to detail made Stella notice that Mac's cheeks were tear-stained.

Stella was torn between disturbing him and leaving to let him alone, but he had a pang that Mac needed human comfort. As quiet as she was when entering Stella walked to Mac's side and gently rested her hand on the middle of his spine.

He stiffened, blinking the remaining tears away. As Stella kept her hand on his back and laid the other on his shoulder he relaxed, but didn't turn his head. He took a deep breath. "Stella," he breathed softly.

She let her hands fall but Mac turned swiftly and caught them. "Mac? Are you all right?"

He leaned sideways against the wall, Stella's hands still encased in his. "No. No, Stel...I don't know where to turn..." He squeezed his eyes closed again.

She pulled a hand from his and in a risky move, brought it up to his cheek. "You know you can always turn to me, Mac. Always."

He was in a flurry of movement, and suddenly had Stella wrapped tightly in his arms and his face pressed to her shoulder. "Stel...what am I supposed to do? It's been two years and I...I'm still lost in the debris." His hand came to rest in her hair.

Stella ran her fingers through his short, black hair. Seeing Mack act like this was saddening and tore at her heart. "You need rest, Mac. You need someone to hold," she whispered, "someone to touch." Her hand rested on the nape of his neck.

Mac sank to the floor, Stella still in his arms. "Someone to love," he said so very quietly.

Stella wasn't sure if she'd heard him correctly, but quietly pressed her lips to his temple, throwing caution into the winds.

For a moment Mac was still, and then he slowly lifted his head to meet her eyes. "And kiss," he breathed. He leaned in and gently pressed his lips to hers.

Stella responded by pulling away. Although she immediately missed the electric feeling she knew Mac wasn't thinking straight.

He seemed to realize what he'd done. "Stel...oh my God...I'm so sorry – I didn't mean –"

She cut him off. "You need to sleep. I know you've been awake for almost fifty hours straight, Mac. And I'm sure as hell not letting you drive. And, because I don't trust you to stay at home – I'm taking you to crash at my place." She cupped his face. "Understand? I'm not letting you out of my sight."

He could tell she wasn't going to bend her decision.

"Now tell me – did you _really_ not mean that?"

Mac weakly held her gaze. "No. I meant it."

Stella gave a half-frightened, half-relieved smile. "All right – let's get you home." They stood, and Mac gave her a light kiss on her cheek.

"Just in case," he whispered. He held Stella's gaze for seven long seconds, hoping to convey his meaning: he couldn't lose her too.


	2. Ground Zero

**Come Home by AndromedaMarine**

_Ground Zero_

Despite Stella's protests that he sleep in, he was gone when she woke. The blanket and pillow she'd lent to him were gone from the couch, the coffee table was neat and tidy, and when she reached the kitchen there was a note in front of the fresh pot of coffee. She poured a cup, eying the piece of paper.

_Stella, thanks for forcing me to sleep. I really did need it. I didn't want to wake you up and I knew I had to get out of the confines of a building, so I hope you don't get mad at me for leaving early. I trust you, Stel. So I think I should let you know that I'm going someplace I can remember...and forget. For now I just need to be alone... But if you read this and find that you're still worrying, you know where to find me. I'm still lost in the debris. – Mac._

Stella downed the coffee and threw some breakfast onto the table. She wolfed it down, knowing that she was both rational and irrational about Mac. She was on the streets of New York barely fifteen minutes after getting out of the shower. She knew exactly where to go. Before she'd gone she'd glanced at the calendar and saw, with a pang, that it was September eleventh, two years to the day of the tragedy that tore Mac's life apart.

Ground Zero.

It was still only eight thirty, but as she neared the gates leading into the site she saw a single man in a black coat leaning his head to the bars, unmoving. She was as quiet as she was in the locker room, but left her hands shoved into the pockets of her coat. She studied his figure, how his fingers curled around the hard steel keeping true civilization from entering the crumbled remains of the Twin Towers. His cheeks were void of tears, but she knew that he was crying inside, trying and looking for some way to let go of Claire's memory.

She knew he felt lost and alone.

He let out a deep sigh, and his hands tightened around the bars. His eyes flickered open and Mac looked up from the ground, sweeping the debris from side to side with his gaze. Two years. Two years to the day and in just hours there would be a massive crowd of mourning citizens, coming to hear the names of those never found and those who'd died in the attack.

Stella knew the attack hadn't just changed America. It had changed everything about Mac Taylor.

Ground Zero.

Stella turned to face the city. Low fog had blanketed the city and she was just now feeling the effects of the cold. Her back tingled and she turned around. Mac was standing a few feet from her, his hands shoved into his coat. "Are you going to be okay?" she asked tentatively. "I understand if you want to be left alone – it's just you keep worrying me..."

His face relaxed and his eyes softened. "Someday I'll let go. But for now...for now I need an anchor, so I don't lose myself all over again." He strode over and laid a hand on her shoulder. "I can't thank you enough for watching out for me." He made to say something else but stopped himself, lurching a little.

Stella reached up to steady him. Mac's hand found her wrist and encased it, twining his fingers into hers.

"Let's...let's walk." He kept his grip on her hand, and they absently turned in the general direction of Central Park, just walking in the comfort of silence.


	3. Making it Something More

**Come Home by AndromedaMarine**

_Making it Something More_

Stella never forgot the unintentional yet intentional kiss between them. As they walked from Ground Zero – away from everything Mac had lost two years previously – their friendship became much stronger than either thought was possible. She was his shoulder to cry on, and as the days went by he found himself grieving less. Soon he realized that Stella had slowly taken Claire's place. He removed the wedding ring he'd held on to for so long, and when he looked up from his desk one day at the calendar, he felt only a tinge of sadness when he saw it was September eleventh, seven years to the day of the attack. Five years had gone by with Stella by his side. Five years had gone by and he realized that he couldn't grieve forever. Five years went by and Mac suddenly understood that what he felt while around Stella wasn't just friendship. The picture of Claire had long been absent from his desk and replaced with the picture of the team. He and Stella stood close together, his arm around both her and Lindsay's shoulders. The photo had been taken four years after he lost Claire, and Mac suddenly realized that the smile on his face in the picture was completely because of Stella.

He stood and soon found himself pushing through the metal door into the locker rooms where, five years ago, Mac had found an unlikely beginning to something much more. He saw her standing where he had been five years ago, her eyes closed as she leaned sideways against the wall. Her cheeks were dry, thankfully, but Mac couldn't help but notice that her shoulders were shaking ever so slightly.

Her eyes flickered open and she saw Mac standing there. "Oh! Hello," she began rather weakly. "I was just...going." She tried to step past him but Mac's arms reached out and he placed his hands firmly on her shoulders.

Mac shook his head. "No, you weren't. This is just the reverse of what happened five years ago," he said simply. Her bright green eyes swept up to meet his piercing blue ones. "And this time I'm not letting you out of my sight." His hand trailed down her arm. "I still mean it," he whispered, leaning closer. "I've been out of the debris for a few years now, Stel. I found the strength to move on." He lightly kissed her, his arms snaking around her waist.

Again, she pulled back, but her eyes shone. "Someone to hold...someone to touch...someone to kiss...and love..." She held his gaze a moment longer and then kissed him back, her hands in his hair. "And I love you, Mac," she breathed.

He smiled, resting his forehead against hers. "I love you too." Mac looked into her eyes. "Why are you sad?"

"Because I thought you still hadn't moved on," she replied, becoming very interested in his shoulder. "I've waited for so long to tell you that I love you...and here you are – saying it for me." She gave a flickering smile. "Five years, Mac..."

"I know," he interrupted. "But it was worth it having you beside me every step of the way." He sighed. "If you hadn't forced me to sleep at your place I don't know what would've happened. Like I said – you kept me on my feet."

"But Claire –"

"Is gone, in the past, just like the Twin Towers. I'll never forget her, no, but you helped me move on. And you have _no_ idea how much I needed that. Seven years is long enough, Stel. Let's make this into something more."

He kissed her again, and was completely oblivious when Danny and Lindsay quietly stumbled in, hand in hand, looking for their own place to kiss. Danny grinned and placed a finger to his lips, and the two slowly left the locker room, leaving Mac and Stella to themselves.

Mac had come home.


End file.
